The Pope recently shocked supporters and detractors alike with stunning proclamations during a climate change encyclical. For starters, he claimed that the first step in combating climate change is to ease mankind’s carbon footprint by sterilizing all unwed mothers. “If your yard is filled with weeds, you pull the weeds. We have an over-surplus of individuals who are having children at younger and younger ages. These people have nothing of value to impart upon their offspring. They are a burden to society as well as the earth. If a young lady has proved that she is unable to deal with the responsibility of motherhood once, we ought to erase the possibility of it ever happening again.”
He continued to elaborate on how overpopulation is the number one factor causing drastic changes in climate. “Childbirth is no longer a sacred event. People are producing out children at an alarming rate and it must end immediately. We spay and neuter our pets, so why do we not perform the same on members of society too irresponsible to be a parent? Why should the children continue to suffer? Why should the world continue to suffer? Why do we keep charging in the same direction, blind to the obvious solution before us? We need to provide for the children who are here at this moment, but we should not bring any more into this world. To do so is to court our own demise.”
“I cannot speak for local
Many scoffed at the Pope’s declaration as just a bunch of delusional ramblings from a geriatric religious relic. Shaniqua Thompson of Atlanta, Georgia loudly affirmed her opinion while in line with her 11 children at the welfare office. “It’s my right to have as many babies as the Lord sees fit! That Pope (expletive) better get his mind right! I ain’t causing this world to fall apart! The white man did that (expletive)!”
Others were supportive of the Pope’s message. A surprising number of atheists agreed with his solution to global warming. Darren Johnson, a longtime resident of Atlanta and lifelong atheist seemed to be on the same page with the Pope. “I’m all for it. This is one of those rare instances where you will actually find me agreeing with the Pope! The last thing this world needs is more parasites heedlessly sucking up our dwindling resources! If you can’t feed em’, don’t breed em’!”
The post Pope Suggests Mandatory Sterilization Of Unwed Mothers Could Prevent Climate Change appeared first on United Media Publishing.